I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
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Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
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i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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