I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize