Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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