It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
