he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
