after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I need a beard to bite.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
