Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
