I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
