playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
