i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
