Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
