Texts From Last Night

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"

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  (870): You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call" http://tfl.nu/7z02
  Replies (29) Good night (10129) Bad night (1018)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  no.

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  (404): hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer?? (1-404): no. http://tfl.nu/c4dk
  Replies (21) Good night (6550) Bad night (854)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..

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  (630): You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell.. http://tfl.nu/hsjq
  Replies (37) Good night (13791) Bad night (1150)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.

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  (614): True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit. http://tfl.nu/ajyk
  Replies (18) Good night (4191) Bad night (858)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.

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  (403): Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'. http://tfl.nu/ube5
  Replies (8) Good night (5910) Bad night (1512)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.

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  (647): I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms. http://tfl.nu/aw2i
  Replies (38) Good night (7472) Bad night (1703)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.

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  (717): It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards. http://tfl.nu/wgpg
  Replies (2) Good night (1848) Bad night (703)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.

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  (701): They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture. http://tfl.nu/7kma
  Replies (2) Good night (1373) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.

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  (573): I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days. (573): Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven. http://tfl.nu/oqxt
  Replies (7) Good night (1323) Bad night (672)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang

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  (610): Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang http://tfl.nu/jrxr
  Replies (2) Good night (1120) Bad night (582)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating

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  (206): My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating http://tfl.nu/ns48
  Replies (2) Good night (1070) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  IM WEARING A FLAG

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  So that's a no to the clothes then

  (613): View more from Ontario

  FLAG

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  (613): IM WEARING A FLAG (1-613): So that's a no to the clothes then (613): FLAG http://tfl.nu/ee8g
  Replies (6) Good night (1236) Bad night (611)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.

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  (978): I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out. http://tfl.nu/uwk8
  Replies (1) Good night (772) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"

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  (281): I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop" http://tfl.nu/oaao
  Replies (0) Good night (381) Bad night (188)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.

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  (337): Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it. http://tfl.nu/fud9
  Replies (1) Good night (275) Bad night (496)

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