Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
operation harelip BJ is a go
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?