Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.

Fav 6 3037 1146
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

just got booed by the entire restaurant.

Fav 10 1186 4163
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(316): View more from Kansas

He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him

Fav 8 1874 1250
share tweet
(636): View more from Missouri

I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...

Fav 5 1167 1008
share tweet
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.

Fav 7 3265 1075
share tweet
(909): View more from California

I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.

Fav 4 1401 879
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult

Fav 1 1747 1059
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(505): View more from New Mexico

Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter

Fav 5 1288 584
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(989): View more from Michigan

Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is

Fav 1 505 384
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT