Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize