you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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