I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
