Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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