tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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