it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
