sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
