i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
