i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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