y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
