yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
