my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
