Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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