so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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