He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
