"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
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If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize