after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.