Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number http://tfl.nu/katp
  Replies (20) Good night (565) Bad night (6791)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer. http://tfl.nu/54ng
  Replies (19) Good night (8087) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too. http://tfl.nu/d0fo
  Replies (24) Good night (7635) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm never eating chinese again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8
  Replies (11) Good night (818) Bad night (4404)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night http://tfl.nu/6buy
  Replies (4) Good night (2481) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/gly6
  Replies (3) Good night (1934) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up. http://tfl.nu/imv1
  Replies (11) Good night (4101) Bad night (1582)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you. http://tfl.nu/nqul
  Replies (15) Good night (3480) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss http://tfl.nu/99ou
  Replies (11) Good night (2076) Bad night (1213)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process. http://tfl.nu/ba8i
  Replies (2) Good night (1145) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic http://tfl.nu/cgjl
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips http://tfl.nu/8ne3
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper? http://tfl.nu/3fdw
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk http://tfl.nu/6hfb
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him. http://tfl.nu/lrjc
  Replies (1) Good night (990) Bad night (182)

Randomize