you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
