So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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