we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize