We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize