Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
