Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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