Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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