My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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