so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
