i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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