Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize