Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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