hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
