worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
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Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
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You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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