Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
