Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
