well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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