just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize