Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize