we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
