Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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