at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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