Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
