mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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