Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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