if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
