he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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