I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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