'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
this is an emotional support booty call
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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