Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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