tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
