So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
